Australia
I just came back yesterday from a month in Australia!
It´s been twelve long years since I moved from Aus to Norway. It was really hard at first, thirteen years old and in the middle of my identity crisis, and on the top of that having you´re whole world ripped out from underneath you... The first couple of years in Norway I remember feeling like I was looking down at my own body. Because mum had spoken Norwegian to me since I was a baby, it took me only a couple of months to become fluent, and friends would relate to me as if I was fully Norwegian. But I hadn´t landed, and I felt frustrated and sad as I looked down at my own body, playing with my friends and talking and laughing - how could they not see I wasn´t actually down there with them? I hadn´t landed, I couldn´t...
One evening mum came into my room to talk, and when she suddenly mentioned Australia I started crying. I managed to explain to her how I felt, and said that I didn´t want to "land" because if I did become fully Norwegian I would lose the Australian in me. But at the same time I didn´t want to stay up in the air forever, it made life so difficult... Mum answered, "you know, you can be both 100% Norwegian and 100% Australian." This un-mathematical truth shocked me, cause I was 15 and knew that 100% + 100% does not and can not equal 100%. Yet in this case, for some reason I realised, it could. Finally - I could land safely.
Since this final landing, I´ve enjoyed being in Norway and feel I´ve been blessed here in so many ways. It´s been twelve years since our family moved here, and I didn´t ever go back to visit until the 17th of december 2010...
Me, my sister Natalia and a friend Michelle went to Melbourne & Sydney to catch up with family, friends and places we knew from down under. As soon as we got off the plane in Melbourne, the smell hit me and I knew I was home. Trees, road-signs, wooden fences, k-marts, targets, the westgate bridge... Things that wouldn´t have meant anything to me while I was living there, but that made up the background scene of my life, and seeing them again was an amazing feeling.
Visiting my aunty and cousins was fantastic, as well as getting to know the Crockers (dad´s cousins and his mum´s sister) in Sydney. We also had time to be a bit touristy, saw the fireworks on new years and stayed at Bondi beach for 5 days where we recognised a few of the lifeguards from TV ;) I´m also very thankful to have been able to see Lorna, my adopted grandma, while we were there. Adopted grandma? you may ask... Well here´s the story: My dad´s mum died when I was 6. At age 7 I was being babysat by a lady named Lorna and one day said to mum and dad "I wish Lorna was my grandma". She had no husband or kids, so they got me to ask her, and she said yes and has been a part of our family and a grandma to my sister and brother ever since! Lorna is 89 now and frail - but feisty! She wasn´t gonna turn down an invitation to spend Christmas with us at a campsite in Tootgarook! We had a very laidback and meaningful Christmas, full of love :)
So now I´m back in Norway, pleased that I have adult memories from my homeland, not just childhood ones. I must say I love being back in Norway, with friends and boyfriend and family - and snow! :) But I also love knowing that I´ll be going back to Aus to visit - and that I won´t be waiting twelve years next time!
It´s been twelve long years since I moved from Aus to Norway. It was really hard at first, thirteen years old and in the middle of my identity crisis, and on the top of that having you´re whole world ripped out from underneath you... The first couple of years in Norway I remember feeling like I was looking down at my own body. Because mum had spoken Norwegian to me since I was a baby, it took me only a couple of months to become fluent, and friends would relate to me as if I was fully Norwegian. But I hadn´t landed, and I felt frustrated and sad as I looked down at my own body, playing with my friends and talking and laughing - how could they not see I wasn´t actually down there with them? I hadn´t landed, I couldn´t...
One evening mum came into my room to talk, and when she suddenly mentioned Australia I started crying. I managed to explain to her how I felt, and said that I didn´t want to "land" because if I did become fully Norwegian I would lose the Australian in me. But at the same time I didn´t want to stay up in the air forever, it made life so difficult... Mum answered, "you know, you can be both 100% Norwegian and 100% Australian." This un-mathematical truth shocked me, cause I was 15 and knew that 100% + 100% does not and can not equal 100%. Yet in this case, for some reason I realised, it could. Finally - I could land safely.
Since this final landing, I´ve enjoyed being in Norway and feel I´ve been blessed here in so many ways. It´s been twelve years since our family moved here, and I didn´t ever go back to visit until the 17th of december 2010...
Me, my sister Natalia and a friend Michelle went to Melbourne & Sydney to catch up with family, friends and places we knew from down under. As soon as we got off the plane in Melbourne, the smell hit me and I knew I was home. Trees, road-signs, wooden fences, k-marts, targets, the westgate bridge... Things that wouldn´t have meant anything to me while I was living there, but that made up the background scene of my life, and seeing them again was an amazing feeling.
Visiting my aunty and cousins was fantastic, as well as getting to know the Crockers (dad´s cousins and his mum´s sister) in Sydney. We also had time to be a bit touristy, saw the fireworks on new years and stayed at Bondi beach for 5 days where we recognised a few of the lifeguards from TV ;) I´m also very thankful to have been able to see Lorna, my adopted grandma, while we were there. Adopted grandma? you may ask... Well here´s the story: My dad´s mum died when I was 6. At age 7 I was being babysat by a lady named Lorna and one day said to mum and dad "I wish Lorna was my grandma". She had no husband or kids, so they got me to ask her, and she said yes and has been a part of our family and a grandma to my sister and brother ever since! Lorna is 89 now and frail - but feisty! She wasn´t gonna turn down an invitation to spend Christmas with us at a campsite in Tootgarook! We had a very laidback and meaningful Christmas, full of love :)
posted by Ellen Miles at 3:34 PM
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