Compliments with no strings attatched
In the last blog I shared how, when I'm down, I tell myself that God thinks I'm stunning and it helps to hear myself say that. In this blog I want to gradually zoom out, and see how my own self esteem affects how I relate to others. Is it possible to compliment others with no strings attatched?
I have a boyfriend who throughout the time we've been dating has made it his mission to fight for my self esteem. And his project has been fruitful; I now know I'm as irresistable to his eyes as chocolate is to mine! ;) What makes me sad, is how many girls don't have a guy like him in their lives... I know what it's like needing a self esteem refill, we feel we have to pose, fish for compliments, fish for your admiration whatever way works, and our relationship with you becomes an ego one more than a giving one...
Then there's the guys who step up to the plate. I've been given compliments from some guys throughout my single life, guys who I know didn't want to hint at anything more than friendship, and those compliments have gone a long way! I still remember a friend Janson telling me years ago, "you'd look good in a potato sack" and another friend, Kristoffer, saying "så vakker du er i dag". Us girls really need to hear and be reminded of this so please, do stand up and fight for us!
These guys also got me thinking; how often do us girls tell you - no strings attatched - that you are handsome, that you have our admiration and that we'd be lost without you..? I often think these things - but how often do I speak my mind? Girls, can we learn to compliment and adore the guys of our lives? And can we do this out of love and respect, instead of greedily flirting, fishing for a response that'll make us feel good? I know I'm guilty of this last way of communicating, and I'm shameful of it. Surprisingly, even being in a relationship doesn't put a lid on that temptation. But this doesn't mean that I need to stop giving guys attention. Cause I've also noticed that the times I know I'm loved and beautiful no matter what the guy I'm talking with thinks or expresses, I'm free to talk and laugh with him and give compliments without needing him to make me feel good.
So I've concluded that my self esteem decides my relationship with those around me. When I'm confident, I'm content enough to compliment those around me with no strings attatched.
Wanna join me in this? Building confidence in the girls and guys that surround us? If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, tips - please share! :)
I have a boyfriend who throughout the time we've been dating has made it his mission to fight for my self esteem. And his project has been fruitful; I now know I'm as irresistable to his eyes as chocolate is to mine! ;) What makes me sad, is how many girls don't have a guy like him in their lives... I know what it's like needing a self esteem refill, we feel we have to pose, fish for compliments, fish for your admiration whatever way works, and our relationship with you becomes an ego one more than a giving one...
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Then there's the guys who step up to the plate. I've been given compliments from some guys throughout my single life, guys who I know didn't want to hint at anything more than friendship, and those compliments have gone a long way! I still remember a friend Janson telling me years ago, "you'd look good in a potato sack" and another friend, Kristoffer, saying "så vakker du er i dag". Us girls really need to hear and be reminded of this so please, do stand up and fight for us!
These guys also got me thinking; how often do us girls tell you - no strings attatched - that you are handsome, that you have our admiration and that we'd be lost without you..? I often think these things - but how often do I speak my mind? Girls, can we learn to compliment and adore the guys of our lives? And can we do this out of love and respect, instead of greedily flirting, fishing for a response that'll make us feel good? I know I'm guilty of this last way of communicating, and I'm shameful of it. Surprisingly, even being in a relationship doesn't put a lid on that temptation. But this doesn't mean that I need to stop giving guys attention. Cause I've also noticed that the times I know I'm loved and beautiful no matter what the guy I'm talking with thinks or expresses, I'm free to talk and laugh with him and give compliments without needing him to make me feel good.
So I've concluded that my self esteem decides my relationship with those around me. When I'm confident, I'm content enough to compliment those around me with no strings attatched.
Wanna join me in this? Building confidence in the girls and guys that surround us? If you have any thoughts, comments, questions, tips - please share! :)
posted by Ellen Miles at 3:09 AM
3 Comments:
elsker det ellen! du er så flink til å skrive!
I just discovered your blog, and as always, your writing and reflections are well formulated and to the point, naming what we need and pointing out a way to get there.
Myself, I was reminded of the power of words and found your thoughts on female compliments towards us men very encouraging.
Fortsett å skrive, Ellen, du er så flink, folket vil ha mer! :)
hehe pølle når jeg først begynte å lese tenkte jeg det var spam! men så så jeg det var deg, hellldigvis ;) takker og bukker og skal fortsette så det suser! Fortsett å skrive du og da..!! Var inne på bloggen din og det er litt lenge siden sist... mangler du inspirasjon til bildetaing? Jeg foreslår en dokumentasjon av neste søndagsturen vår!
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